Finding Friendship with Jesus in the New Year

I woke up Christmas morning in a funk and really tired. Sometimes I wish I could just sleep until I wake up. It’s Christmas day for flip’s sake; I should be happy and merry, and all the rest. I knew that part of what was bothering me had something to do with feeling frustration over the fact that our culture has turned a beautiful day we celebrate Jesus into a season of getting high and gorging, in an attempt to satisfy our insatiable hunger for more. But there was something else weighing on my heart and it was more personal.

After a breakfast of eggs, bacon and Reona and Zoe’s delicious homemade monkey bread, I retired to the bathroom for my daily 5-10 minute book reading (don’t think about it too much!). At the moment, I’m reading Donald Miller’s Searching For God Knows What for the third time and in this book, he so beautifully captures the gospel of Jesus. It seemed fitting that today of all days I finished the final chapter. He finishes the book by looking at Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Before reading this book I never thought about this love story as allegorical, and though it might seem a stretch, it was quite beautiful for me to look at the gospel of Jesus in a new and fresh way again today. It is a story about love and deep friendship. What dawned on me as I read was how big, amazing, and beautiful is the story of Jesus. I started to think about the fact that, if I allow it, my story can be a part of his story. And the friendship that Jesus offers me is astounding. Honestly, I sat there and felt an emotion almost to the point of tears, because something hit me and it’s hard for me to admit to myself.

My family and I have been on a huge journey these last couple of years. We’ve taken some huge steps along the way and we had to fully trust God, even when it didn’t come easy. A few months ago God asked us to leave Belfast on a whim and move to Denver to foster our new son, Jack, and welcome him into the family. My life’s journey has not been easy, but I have learned much about my creator. God is faithful and I know this to be a fact, without a doubt. He has provided our every need sometimes down to the wire. The Holy Spirit has led us with grace and love. We have not always seen clearly, but he has guided and directed us in times we had blinders on. He has never let us down. This is what hit me Christmas morning as I read my book: Jesus is loyal and he offers deep friendship. If I’m honest with myself I am a big fat Idiot! I am an Idiot because after almost 30 years of knowing Jesus I have yet to take him up on the offer of friendship. Sure, I know Jesus. I know of his death and life, and what that means for me. However, I don’t think that I have ever fully accepted Jesus’ invitation to a deep and meaningful friendship, and today I am filled with a sense of loss. I have missed out on a meaningful friendship that could have been.

I probably only know a handful of people who I believe have fully grasped the concept of a deep and loving friendship with Jesus, and who are truly walking this out in their everyday life. On the surface they seem crazy, and I make fun of some of them regularly. Today, however, I am jealous of that kind of connection with the person of Jesus. They are so in love with Jesus that they could care less what the world thinks. But I think that if I were to live this way, in that kind of deep connection with the person and life of Jesus, so much so that I become his hands and feet to the people around me and that I am truly lost without him, it is very cool.

I realize I need to accept this friendship for everything it is meant to be. I need to begin to look for Jesus on a daily basis. I need to begin to take Jesus at his word. I’m not exactly sure what that looks like. I do know that Jesus himself told us he would be everywhere and in everything we do. The Bible is pretty clear about this idea. I want to see Jesus everywhere I go and in everything I do, literally. I want to be so connected in love and friendship with Jesus that I literally can’t do life without him. On one hand, I don’t want religion or a crutch to help me feel better about myself or my particular belief system. This doesn’t work for me. On the other hand, I don’t want to be just some crazy person who lives in la-la land or in a sort of ‘Jesus loves me’ hippie bubble. This doesn’t work for me either.

So, here’s my idea: I am issuing a challenge to myself to interact with Jesus every day this year for the purpose of friendship, and ultimately to change my life and the lives of those around me. Starting today in this new year, I will attempt to see Jesus in the details of my day to day and record those experiences here. I might not write every single day, but I will attempt to recap the days I miss. I don’t know what form this will take. I won’t coat everything in a glossy, colorful, life-is-perfect, faux finish. This will be an honest look at my life and an attempt to find Jesus in the margins. It might not always look pretty, but I think it will be good. It even has the potential to become something beautiful. I invite you to join me in this journey. Make comments and share your own stories. Here’s to knowing a true and deep friendship with Jesus and letting it change our lives forever!