Falling back in love...

Last year I attended an Alpha course with a friend of mine in Belfast. Alpha course is designed for people, just like my friend, who are not following Jesus but interested in learning more about what it might look like to do so. I had been a part of this same course in Atlanta a number of years ago. Since then I had moved to a new city, in a new country, with a new culture and a whole new set of friends. On top of all these changes, in the few years leading up to our move to Belfast, I had gone through some not-so-pleasant experiences within the church I was a part of in Atlanta. I left Atlanta feeling quite “over” the organized church as I knew it.

On the first night of this second Alpha course I attended with my friend in Belfast, they posed a question to everyone. Assuming that there is a God, if you were standing in front of him today and you could ask him one question, what would it be? We went around the circle and each person had a chance share their one question for God. There were plenty of answers all in the same sort of vein… why is there so much pain in the world... if God loves us, why does he allow us to hurt... why does God send people to hell? All of these are legitimate questions, sure. However, in my personal journey with God I have come to terms with the fact that most of these kinds of questions are damn near impossible to answer, so I think to myself why even bother trying? Of course, I’m sure we can all find some answers to some of these questions. After all, Christians are pretty good at backing up our own belief system with scripture. It’s quite interesting to me that for every tough question that someone might have, there are quite often opposing answers, each backed up straight from the bible. I suppose it’s all about personal interpretation.

So when it came to my turn to answer the big question, there was only one burning question for God floating around in my cynical head. Are we, as followers of Jesus, even close to what you intended for your church, or have we completely mucked things up and fallen off the map? The leader of our small Alpha group didn’t like my question. This is perhaps because he, like a lot of Christians, doesn’t like questions that are difficult to answer. I believe the answer to my question is two-sided.

On one hand we have so called followers of Jesus, who have absolutely mucked things up. You don’t have to go far to find people who burned out, hurt, or damaged, largely because of how the church treated them (or depending on the situation, didn’t treat them). Or perhaps you can go to youtube.com and check out some old Robert Tilton videos to see how ridiculous the church can be (the farting pastor is my personal favorite). Wherever you go, you’ll find people who have been broken by the church. It breaks my heart, because I have been in that boat before. I know how it feels to be let down by the church.

On the other hand, there is hope! My friend, Billy, helped us find a new community of people following Jesus. Of course, no one is perfect, but this church is doing an amazing job at loving people. My wife, Reona, and I moved recently to Denver, Colorado. We didn’t know a single person in Denver when we came here. I was “over” doing the church thing and not interested in church hopping. The first week in Denver we came to the Mile High Vineyard. They have embraced us with open arms and shown us true unconditional love. They have helped us transition to a new life in this new city. In the first week we arrived here, I was invited to have coffee with my new friend Peter. During that conversation he told me that he hoped that their church could help me fall back in love with the church, and as a result with Jesus. I nodded in agreement, but in my heart I was sceptical.

Despite myself, I am happy to tell you that this process of falling back in love with the church is happening for me. We have never experienced church like we have at the Mile High Vineyard in Denver. Through this community we are learning to live well, and to love everyone - unconditionally, regardless of who they are, where they come from, where they live, their sexual orientation, race, or religious creed. Our new friends are loving the people in our community day in and day out, in very tangible ways. They are showing us what it means to be the hands and feet of Jesus to our neighbours who need him so desperately. I am learning new things about God, people, and community. These are lessons that I will take with me wherever I go.

My plea to you is, if you are in that boat as so many of us have been, and you are ready to give up on church, DON’T! I promise you, the church of Jesus is alive and well and moving. My prayer for you is that you will find a community of people following Jesus, wherever you live, and that they will help you fall back in love with Jesus and his church. Don’t look in the places we’ve always looked. Look in the margins, in the places no one else wants to look. I am certain that is where you will find what you are looking for!

Family

01-01-10

We were invited to celebrate the new year with our friend's Carlos and Mareya Barrio. They are the family that fostered Jack before he came to live with us, and they have become very dear to us. Just so you know, Mexicans know how to celebrate! If you are ever invited to a real Mexican party, GO! It was a lovely way to ring in the new year, with amazing Mexican cuisine, some kind of Mexican polka/dance music, an endless supply of tequila (I'm pretty sure Jesus was there multiplying it!), and good company. Out of over 100 guests we were among the few who spoke English. Even though we couldn't communicate with most of the people and we didn't know what was going on for most of the night, we were welcomed into their circle of friends. Every time we are with them, they remind us that we are part of their family. I have learned so much about the importance of faith, family, friends, and community through the Barrio family and I am honored to be counted among their friends. They are amazing and generous people who continually open their hearts and home to children who would otherwise be without a family. At the moment, they are fostering 7 children, not to mention they have 2 of their own. Jesus is all over them! If I could live out even a fraction of the love they show to those around then I am certain I would be in constant communion with Jesus. The Barrio family is truly an inspiration.

Finding Friendship with Jesus in the New Year

I woke up Christmas morning in a funk and really tired. Sometimes I wish I could just sleep until I wake up. It’s Christmas day for flip’s sake; I should be happy and merry, and all the rest. I knew that part of what was bothering me had something to do with feeling frustration over the fact that our culture has turned a beautiful day we celebrate Jesus into a season of getting high and gorging, in an attempt to satisfy our insatiable hunger for more. But there was something else weighing on my heart and it was more personal.

After a breakfast of eggs, bacon and Reona and Zoe’s delicious homemade monkey bread, I retired to the bathroom for my daily 5-10 minute book reading (don’t think about it too much!). At the moment, I’m reading Donald Miller’s Searching For God Knows What for the third time and in this book, he so beautifully captures the gospel of Jesus. It seemed fitting that today of all days I finished the final chapter. He finishes the book by looking at Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Before reading this book I never thought about this love story as allegorical, and though it might seem a stretch, it was quite beautiful for me to look at the gospel of Jesus in a new and fresh way again today. It is a story about love and deep friendship. What dawned on me as I read was how big, amazing, and beautiful is the story of Jesus. I started to think about the fact that, if I allow it, my story can be a part of his story. And the friendship that Jesus offers me is astounding. Honestly, I sat there and felt an emotion almost to the point of tears, because something hit me and it’s hard for me to admit to myself.

My family and I have been on a huge journey these last couple of years. We’ve taken some huge steps along the way and we had to fully trust God, even when it didn’t come easy. A few months ago God asked us to leave Belfast on a whim and move to Denver to foster our new son, Jack, and welcome him into the family. My life’s journey has not been easy, but I have learned much about my creator. God is faithful and I know this to be a fact, without a doubt. He has provided our every need sometimes down to the wire. The Holy Spirit has led us with grace and love. We have not always seen clearly, but he has guided and directed us in times we had blinders on. He has never let us down. This is what hit me Christmas morning as I read my book: Jesus is loyal and he offers deep friendship. If I’m honest with myself I am a big fat Idiot! I am an Idiot because after almost 30 years of knowing Jesus I have yet to take him up on the offer of friendship. Sure, I know Jesus. I know of his death and life, and what that means for me. However, I don’t think that I have ever fully accepted Jesus’ invitation to a deep and meaningful friendship, and today I am filled with a sense of loss. I have missed out on a meaningful friendship that could have been.

I probably only know a handful of people who I believe have fully grasped the concept of a deep and loving friendship with Jesus, and who are truly walking this out in their everyday life. On the surface they seem crazy, and I make fun of some of them regularly. Today, however, I am jealous of that kind of connection with the person of Jesus. They are so in love with Jesus that they could care less what the world thinks. But I think that if I were to live this way, in that kind of deep connection with the person and life of Jesus, so much so that I become his hands and feet to the people around me and that I am truly lost without him, it is very cool.

I realize I need to accept this friendship for everything it is meant to be. I need to begin to look for Jesus on a daily basis. I need to begin to take Jesus at his word. I’m not exactly sure what that looks like. I do know that Jesus himself told us he would be everywhere and in everything we do. The Bible is pretty clear about this idea. I want to see Jesus everywhere I go and in everything I do, literally. I want to be so connected in love and friendship with Jesus that I literally can’t do life without him. On one hand, I don’t want religion or a crutch to help me feel better about myself or my particular belief system. This doesn’t work for me. On the other hand, I don’t want to be just some crazy person who lives in la-la land or in a sort of ‘Jesus loves me’ hippie bubble. This doesn’t work for me either.

So, here’s my idea: I am issuing a challenge to myself to interact with Jesus every day this year for the purpose of friendship, and ultimately to change my life and the lives of those around me. Starting today in this new year, I will attempt to see Jesus in the details of my day to day and record those experiences here. I might not write every single day, but I will attempt to recap the days I miss. I don’t know what form this will take. I won’t coat everything in a glossy, colorful, life-is-perfect, faux finish. This will be an honest look at my life and an attempt to find Jesus in the margins. It might not always look pretty, but I think it will be good. It even has the potential to become something beautiful. I invite you to join me in this journey. Make comments and share your own stories. Here’s to knowing a true and deep friendship with Jesus and letting it change our lives forever!